Out Of Matters Of The Heart Came Things To Remember During Self Doubt

Out Of Matters Of The Heart Came Things To Remember During Self Doubt

Health Issues

It started off as just taking time to think. Then My health became an issue. I have Heart rhythm problems (Heart arrhythmia) that have heightened over the last couple months. Maybe it’s stress or maybe I can stand to lose these extra pounds. I am working on the latter. Not too sure exactly what has been making it more prominent lately though.

For the last month or so I have been trying to manage it in silence. However, last two weeks I was totally not functional. I was laid up in bed weak, constantly dizzy with chest pains. Don’t feel bad for me though, I was doing something I rarely do, watch a lot of TV. Well more specifically, only Doc Martin, my new favorite series. More on that in a future post.

But while I was down, I had tons of time for thinking, reflecting, refocusing. Having chests pains will do that to you. Like most, I often get caught up in the busy-work. Constantly fiddling with the marbles in hand to see how to better organize and reorganize them to maybe make things better.

Anyway, I am so happy and extremely grateful to be feeling more like myself again. I was reminded of something during this period though. So often I have doubts about how important a role I am playing for my household. Unrealistic expectations sneak into the tiny crevices of my mind despite tireless effort and prayer. The continuous battle of not comparing what I wanted in life to where God has me. Which mind you, I can’t say I could have done better than what he’s done for me thus far. Almost makes me feel ungrateful sometimes.

And as if that’s not enough self-doubt, we all battle comparing ourselves to others. At least now and again right?

Out Of Matters Of The Heart Came Things To Remember During Self Doubt

Anyways, during this period I was reminded of how much my loved ones depend on me. That even if I won’t stand in the shadow of those who are successful by mainstream standards. To my family, I am irreplaceable.

And the same is true for you.

I am no motivational speaker, or in this case writer. However,

for the times that you feel inadequate and not measuring up to yourself and those around you. Very random…

Take some time to refocus on what really matters. Your spouse, kids, family. And spend that time making or attempting at some relational investment. Definitely worthier.
If You’re a parent, your kids NEED you. Don’t ever underestimate that.
If married, your hubby, even though an expert in individual tasks, NEEDS your multi-tasking powers to keep your household running smoothly.
Washing the dishes is actually much more important than you knew. Your family will spend hundreds of dollars in new dishes a year if you don’t wash them up for the next meal.
The little things you can do, like hand stitch a gaping hole in your kids’ clothing, is more valuable than you realize. Seriously!
If you stay at home like me, you are truly saving more than you might make working, most likely. It’s a sad fact. Someone said, Child Care! You’re saving money, BIGTIME!
That person you are comparing your self to this very minute compares themselves to another person. Guaranteed.
Think about it, if you can’t make peace with now, how do you know you’ll be satisfied later?
Beating yourself up won’t make you get to your destination any faster.
Thoughts can be exhausting and all-consuming. Don’t believe everything you think. Your mind can lie to you.
Consider giving social media a rest now and then. Just a thought. A world of stress and feelings of inadequacy is often a social media click away.

Aim, But…

It’s ok to set goals, even dreams. The good thing about dreams is that they are usually fueled by a passion which can make the trying process easier. Maybe? But don’t do it at the expense of totally not enjoying the now. It’s a hard reality to face for most. Myself first. Especially when you look around and have convinced yourself you are dead last in the race of life.

Out Of Matters Of The Heart Came Things To Remember During Self Doubt

Firstly, you’re not. And besides, you’re not going to get to where God wants you to be faster than he intends or intended for it to happen. So while running across fields to get to an invisible destination, stop now and then. Admire a rose, a dandelion, a blade of grass, if that’s all you have. After all, you can see that rose, that dandelion, that blade of grass. It’s tangible. The other side, it’s yet to be revealed.

Until next time, wishing you a healthy state of mind.